Monday, August 23, 2010

The Cold-Blooded Intruder

I think that I am pretty agreeable with wildlife. It makes me happy to see them out in their natural habitats, grazing on grass, hopping in the fields, swimming in the ponds. What doesn’t make me happy is them gallivanting around in my house.

It all began when I was grabbing a few zzz’s before work about a week ago. When I sleep during the day the dogs join me. (Because they like sleeping during the day and then joining J while he sleeps at night.) Occasionally they wake up and wander around, but that’s only because something has peaked their interest.

Well on this particular day, I heard the dogs chains jingle their familiar “I might be getting in to trouble” chime, so I cracked open an eye. There were my two puppies trying to get under the decorative pillows we had stacked up in the corner of the room.

If I had been fully awake, I would have heard the scary movie music that usually plays in the background before something pops out of the closet or breaks in through a window. But no, silly me decided to want to find out what they were barking at.

So as a sling back the pillows from the floor to the bed, a GIANT lizard makes a beeline toward my toes as if it has just found its next meal and I jump out of the way and scream bloody murder. The lizard careens under my bed, and my doggie protectors run as fast as they can through the living room, kitchen and then proceeded up the stairs to some unknown location. This all happens in a matter of 30 seconds, with me still plastered to the floor in shock.

(What I thought I saw)



No, my dogs were not looking for back-up upstairs, J was already at work. I am assuming they ran upstairs to very possibly jump in the bath tub as they were also afraid of the big, bad, lizard. (Well they shouldn’t have been trying to get at it through the pillows!)

After 30 minutes, I coax my pseudoprotectors back downstairs – hoping that the culprit of all this mid afternoon excitement is still under my bed. With only one thought in mind, “you started this,” I throw the unbeknownst Cyrus (who has a 5 second memory most times) a toy under the bed so the lizard will come out the other direction.

It works, but I was not ready for the consequences. The dinosaur comes roaring back from underneath the bed to find solace under a pillow – but his tail is still showing.



I go to the kitchen and mentally flip through all the things I would be sad to miss if this alligator decided to be hungry – and if I ended up needing to cook with it one day. So I come back with a shallow Tupperware container.



On the count of three I lifted the pillow, but hadn’t correctly positioned the container in my hands, and it comes crashing - flat side down - on the prehistoric amphibian. Due to impenetrateable exoskeleton, the monster survives this insult and slithers back under the bed.

I send Cyrus’s toy, once again, under the bed, but this time our puppy has figured me out and runs back through the house and upstairs. Ginger is eyeing me from her lookout position on top of the bed, making sure I don’t try to convince her of the same fate.

I finally muster up the courage and remove things from under the bed. Much to my enjoyment … I mean dismay, the lizard isn’t there and I hope he has made his way back to his time machine to go back to the prehistoric era. Sadly, however, the realization is that he is probably hanging out our closet.

I again gather up whatever tiny courage I have left and start sifting through things on the floor of the closet. This animal, however, has evaded me again and probably used his razor sharp claws to scale the wall and removed the vent covering to get into the ductwork.

So I do the only two things I can afford to do, text my husband and forget the Komodo Dragon ever existed.


As I am at work that night, my text goes something like this. (Please don’t judge… too much.)

Me – “We have a lizard in our house.”
Me – “Probably under the bed.”
J – “How did that happen?”
Me – “I don’t know… The dogs all of a sudden jumped off the bed and started sniffing behind the pillows on the floor.”
Me – “I pulled them up and screamed. And it ran under the bed. I searched everywhere for flash lights but couldn’t find any at all.”
Me – “So it might still be under the bed.”

J doesn’t respond for a few hours…

J – “Did you see the lizard, was it big or small.”
Me – “About 8 inches long. Last known whereabouts our bedroom, but probably the closet now.”
Me – “Or underneath the furniture.”
J – “Really!!!! Im sleeping upstairs.”
Me – “Its black.”
Me – “It won’t bite! But I need you to get it.”
(I have now made an assumption that I have no idea if it is true or not.)

J – “I’m not getting it. I have goosebumps!”
Me – “Atleast I tried to trap it.”
Me – “It moves like a snake.”
J – “Then it probably is one…”
Me – “Nope, had legs.”

Justin doesn’t text back for a few more hours. Fearing for his life, I message back around 2:03 in the morning.

Me – “Did you get it?”
J – “No I’ve checked the whole house except for the closet and under the bed so make sure you close the door when you go into each room and make sure you look down when you open a door to see if he comes crawling out and leave the blankets and pillows where they are at. I love you. Going to bed.”


When I get home that morning, the house is in slight disarray, no lizard to be found, and the hubby did sleep in the guest room that night.

Thinking that we will find the lizard crustied up in some deep, dark location in the house six months down the road – we attempt to go on living our normal lives. Fear always lurking around every open door.

Four days later, we are relaxing in the kitchen waiting for our friends to show up so we could go to the county fair. Our house door was open, yet our storm door was shut so more light could brighten up our sad and dreary dispositions. We hear a light knock on the door and then the door opens – with a subsequent scream.

“Something just ran out of your house!!” Our friend calls out.

“Was it a lizard!?!” J and I say in unison, hoping our forked tongue intruder had finally shown himself the door. I also realized that I hadn’t told them about our lizard adventures.

“I… I think so.. It was big!”

And, thus hopefully concludes our story of the gigantic lizard. J did tell me later that he would rather confront a full grown tiger rather than lizards, snakes, or spiders. At least I know I will be safe if a giant feline makes its way across our threshold... I hope.

(This is probably what ACTUALLY escaped from our house.)

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Ta Kala Diokomen...




One hundred years ago, on December 17, 1910, the Epsilon Omega Chapter of Kappa Delta was started at the University of Kentucky....



Six years ago, I pledged this chapter... with a class of 5. (There were multiple pledge classes that year.)





Three years ago, I participated in the last recruitment week before I graduated...




On the year of Epsilon Omega's Hundredth Anniversary, we pledged sixty-nine girls - the largest pledge class on the University of Kentucky's Campus. (Out of 12 sororities.)




Great job girls!!! Onward to another great one hundred years!!


Ta Kala Diokomen - Let us strive for that is what is honorable, beautiful, and highest.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Slightly Chilly...

I don’t know about you… but it has been darn right cold!




Okay, who am I kidding? I was attempting to convince myself that it wasn’t 90 million degrees outside my doorstep. Mental conditioning and air conditioning are the only thing keeping me cool when I am pretty sure my house is located on the surface of the SUN.




Some people can handle the heat. Some can even go outside and sun bathe in this weather. Me? I melt.

I use the word melt, because I am pretty sure that is EXACTLY what my body is doing. Some girls lightly perspire, some guys sweat under the armpits, I melt. Melting is the appropriate term for obnoxiously sweating, even when doing only minimal activity.

Yesterday, at around seven PM, my hubby and I take a simple walk around my neighborhood. The sun is already setting; it should be cool and comfortable. We are not power walking, just leisurely strolling around the block.

As we arrive back to our door step, J appears calm, cool, collected…. And most importantly dry. Me on the other hand looks like: 1. Decided to run to Percy Priest Lake and take a swim or 2. Was chased by wild animals to the local Publix and back. It was that bad.

I am not lying. This obnoxious sweating/melting that my body does could possible serve as a side show for the circus. “Why?” You may ask. Well I actually don’t sweat under my armpits. Maybe I do, but it just isn’t as noticeable as other areas as my body. I feel like words cannot express my sweating issues – so here is a picture from a rare event a few years ago where I actually allowed myself be in a picture… and sweaty at the same time.



Yep. Downright embarrassing. Oh well, I am going to own it. Not like I can tell my body where to sweat, it’s just a little more extreme than others.

I hope you, my friends, are not melting and staying cool in this heat wave. Make sure to drink plenty of liquids and stay super-duper hydrated!

Also – mother nature, I am on to you. I am starting to pick up on a trend. During the winter – you snowed us in, during the spring – you rained us in. During the summer – you heated us in. (If that is even a phrase.) So, during the fall, please be nice. I am not sure what else you might be capable of… so please take your fury elsewhere.
Thank you.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Christopher Nolan must be a fan of Donald Duck...



Christopher must be a fan of Donald Duck.... Because this comic, sketched in 2002, looks eerily similar to his hit new movie, Inception.


Or maybe, just maybe, Donald Duck performed an 'inception' on Christopher Nolan.



Food for thought...

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Where were you in 1950...



I am not sure where I was... but my grandparents were getting married!!! Happy 60th Anniversary Grandma and Grandpa!


In celebration, here are a few things about 1950...

* The telephone answering machine was invented
* Antihistamines became popular treatment for allergies and head colds
* The first credit card was invented
* The average annual salary was $2,992
* The Peanuts cartoon strip premiered
* A gallon of gas was 18 cents



Love, you guys.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Backyard Adventures...

Isn’t it fun to take an adventure just beyond your doorstep? To realize that your town has a history long before you ever tread its ground?


Here are some pictures from our adventure… just two miles away from our house. You would never guess by looking at the pictures. Justin and I absolutely loved it!


Take a look…. The Hermitage


Born in 1767, Andrew Jackson was the seventh president of the United States. In 1804, He bought the land the Hermitage Mansion sits on with his wife Rachel. A house was constructed and the president lived here before and after his presidency. Our town, Hermitage, was named after his home. The home is the fourth most visited presidential residence in the country (after the White House, Mt. Vernon, and Moticello.)

Another interesting fact... "Old Hickory" was Andrew Jackson's nickname as many felt he was "as tough as old hickory." His nickname has served as a namesake for a city (next to Hermitage) in addition to an infamous never connecting road that circles the city.


The Hermitage...







The Hermitage Gardens that holds the tombs of Andrew and Rachel Jackson.







The Jackson's tomb











The fields of the property






A tree probably present while Andrew Jackson was alive




An interesting headstone...