Sunday, March 15, 2009

Wife = Good Cook; Jenny = Bad Cook

So isn't cooking supposed to come naturally when a woman becomes married? I thought so.

When the wedding band was slipped on my finger I thought that a light bulb suddenly turned on in my head that allowed me to cook anything and everything in sight. Or maybe a cooking fairy would bat me in the head while I was sleeping and give me a little insight into the world of ingredients. Well I got married in September and can't even make pancakes... from a box.

It's not that I don't have the recipes. Oh I have plenty of recipes. Seven big books and a program that goes on my Nintendo DS... One of the books I have is entitled "Easy Recipes for Kids" or something like that... yeah I know. At least I can now make an edible grilled cheese! Yay! (though it doesn't quite look right.)

Is is also not because I lack the proper utensils. When a couple gets married, the majority of the things they receive belongs in the kitchen. From fancy knives to 20+ exotic spices and an amazing "does it itself mixer," one would think I've got it made. Haha. If only I had a kitchen that would cook for me.

So why can I not cook? I ponder that question frequently. I do open the cook books.. I do follow the directions to the best of my ability.. Argh! The other day me and friends from work were discussing places to go for breakfast. One option was a place where they gave you a griddle and batter and you had to it. The success rate of those making the pancakes has to be high if you have a restaurant that focuses around it, thus, pancakes have to be easy to make. Yet the pancakes that I ate this evening left me wishing I hadn't. I tried to pawn them off to Justin - but he was having none of it. The dogs weren't even begging. One whiff of these suckers and they ran to sit on J. The pancakes were burnt on the outside and liquid in the inside. Yuck!

Yes, I do have the issue of cooking when I am already extremely hungry. Why start cooking when you might not be hungry when you are done? But when you start cooking while hungry, many times you don't want to cook something for 15-30 minutes - or at lease I don't. But then again, soup does not sound appealing for every meal. :(

But the other half of the time the food works against me in a fight to the dinner table. The pan is too hot and "it" cooked too quick on the outside. The pan is too cold and "it" never cooked at all. Didn't even have the pan on the right burner to cook "it." Couldn't cook properly in the microwave. (MY favorite kitchen appliance!!) "It" imploded in the oven. "It" exploded in the oven.. The temperature does not match the cooking times on the package. I could go on forever. Plus that is just covering the actually cooking - not even the "making." If the food cooks "successfully" does not mean that it will taste all right. Sadness.

The only thing I can successfully make that might be some what difficult is mashed potatoes. Why have I learned this random recipe? Because I LOVE real mashed potatoes. It took me 5+ tries to get them right too. Have you ever had potatoes so watery they were thinner then applesauce? I have. Have you ever had mashed potatoes so dry that you could not swallow without taking extra drinks of milk. Oh I have had that problem too - and everything in between.

Yes, I will continue cooking - and any advice is welcome. I just have to try to master the concept before my husband loses any more weight and turns into skin and bones!


Megan Greeson said...

Have you tried tacos? They are fairly simple.. just brown that meat and then use the seasoning.. Ryan and I make them about once a week. And I can teach you to make a mean roast or ham! I'm a fairly decent cook.. but nothing too extravagant.

Cotton Couple said...

No - I hadn't even thought about that! Wonderful idea.. and I can brown tacos :) (yay!)