Thursday, June 2, 2011

Hey CDC, is there something I am missing?

So I was going about my business a few weeks ago and came across this on the web...

If you're ready for a zombie apocalypse, then you're ready for any emergency.


As a health care professional, I usually take information from the CDC (Center for Disease Control) seriously. But a zombie campaign? Maybe it's because on the show "Walking Dead," (based on a zombie virus spreading faster then chain email) the CDC didn't fair too well... Perhaps they are just preparing?

Of course I must investigate. If the CDC is *laughably* warning us of a human eating fest, maybe I need to pay closer attention.

"Don't be silly, Jenny" you say....

Hey, they rolled this out on May 16th. Not Halloween Season. Not April 1st. Not even the predicted Apocolypse. Yeah, it had me scratching my head too.

Whelp, sure enough the CDC has a page "Preparedness 101: Zombie Apocolypse."

Emergency Plan ... (as spelled out by the CDC)
  1. Identify the types of emergencies that are possible in your area. Besides a zombie apocalypse, this may include floods, tornadoes, or earthquakes. If you are unsure contact your local Red Cross chapter for more information.
  2. Pick a meeting place for your family to regroup in case zombies invade your home. Pick one place right outside your home for sudden emergencies and one place outside of your neighborhood in case you are unable to return home right away.
  3. Identify your emergency contacts. Make a list of local contacts like the police, fire department, and your local zombie response team. Also identify an out-of-state contact that you can call during an emergency to let the rest of your family know you are ok.
  4. Plan your evacuation route. When zombies are hungry they won’t stop until they get food (i.e., brains), which means you need to get out of town fast! Plan where you would go and multiple routes you would take ahead of time so that the flesh eaters don’t have a chance!

... and if that wasn't good enough... it gets better...

 "Never Fear: The CDC is Here"

If zombies did start roaming the streets, CDC would conduct an investigation. CDC would provide technical assistance to cities, states, or international partners dealing with a zombie infestation. This assistance might include consultation, lab testing and analysis, patient management and care, tracking of contacts, and infection control (including isolation and quarentine).

It’s likely that an investigation of this scenario would seek to accomplish several goals: determine the cause of the illness, the source of the infection/virus/toxin, learn how it is transmitted and how readily it is spread, how to break the cycle of transmission and thus prevent further cases, and how patients can best be treated. Not only would scientists be working to identify the cause and cure of the zombie outbreak, but CDC and other federal agencies would send medical teams and first responders to help those in affected areas.

GRREEEAAATTT. They have thought this through.

It's weird, I'll admit. I love the sci - fi stuff... but in its own world... not this one. Unless there really are vampires that look like Eric from True Blood or Edward from Twilight. I might be okay with that.

Yet I digress.

TODAY I come across this lovely article about our mostly dead friends attempting to give others  zombie love bites...

"The First Zombie-Proof House"

Designed by a Polish architectural firm, the house can completely close itself off... And the only way to access it is by the drawbridge on the second floor. Don't believe me? Take a look.

I need their address if I start to noticing the neighbors getting a little shady... and "dead"esque

Would you want to live in a house like this?

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