Monday, March 28, 2011

"It's all in my head"

I think I need to start keeping track of weird things that happen to me… by next year I should have enough material to compose a novel. Seriously.

The working title of the chapter I am currently penning is “It’s all in my head.”

A few months ago J and I had a couples’ massage. I had never had a massage before and needless to say I was a little nervous. Two weeks earlier Justin had let the little secret slip, further adding that I would have a male masseuse.

“A guy?!?” I sputtered. In a matter of a 15 second spread, he tells me not only are we having a massage, but I would have a man working on me. The incredible hulk came to mind.

My response had caught him off guard.

“Oh… well let me just call them back – I’ll rebook with a girl.”

“A girl? hmph.” 

J quickly quipped, “Well Jenny, the way things work here is either you have a guy or girl masseuse, there aren’t any other options.”

I had to cover my smile. I know I would either have a guy or a girl, but the last thing I needed was to be in the wrong attire/lack of attire, and have my relaxing experience turn into a high stress fiasco.

Even if high stress and fiascos are my default game plan.

Any who, I survived. I ended up having a guy, and no I didn’t die of having my bones and muscles crushed or of embarrassment – even if he did have a hard time massaging my hands and feet because they were so sweaty. Oops. 

One day later, I did however end up with a pretty good case of what I thought was contact dermatitis aka itchy red bumps. I am pretty sensitive to new soaps, lotions, etc – so I thought I had been allergic to the lotion. It took a week to disappear, which ended up being a VERY LONG week.

Fast forward a month … 

So three nights ago, I had a dream that I was back at the masseuse getting my shoulders worked on. A pretty typical dream (many times my dreams are as mundane as my days are) and I woke up thinking that maybe J and I should try out another couples massage. Again, nothing out of the ordinary – and went on with my daily activities.

Until – that night – more than 12 hours after having the massage dream, I start breaking out in an itchy, red rash. No kidding. It manifested in the EXACT same spots as my rash a month earlier done. Ugh. Of course my body would do something like this – it was just a dream for goodness sake!

So here I sit, applying my hydrocortisone, wallowing in my misery. I don’t think I have made any changes in my detergent or body wash… but I have been trying new foods. Maybe change is the 

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